Dear Internet,

At McDonalds you probably pay 60-80DDK for a meal including drinks. For a limited time only, I have the following great offer:

For one third of the price (20DDK/$4US) of a meal at McDonalds, I will offer to piss and shit in your mouth. This rare & amazing offer carries the following advantages over eating at McDonalds:

• It's much cheaper for you and I make a little money on the side
• Higher quality ingredients
• Stronger and better taste
• Fun for the whole family
• I can come to your house: Location, location, location!
• There's more nutrition in my shit than is contained in a McDonalds meal.

We all know Christmas is an expensive time so take this oppertunity for a cheap, high quality meal! Let me know if you're interested.